Team Lolita takes the Chunin Exams
by TNM-Writer
Summary: Naruko expected a big reaction to her teammate's and her new look, but this was hilarious. Sequel to Team Lolita! Fem!Naru, AU, Sasu-crossdressing, dedicated to Little Raccoon!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is for you, Little Raccoon!**

**Title:** Team Lolita takes the Chunin Exam

**Summary:** Naruko expected a big reaction to her teammate's and her new look, but this was hilarious. Sequel to **Team Lolita**! Fem!Naru, AU, Sasu-crossdressing, dedicated to Little Raccoon!

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It hadn't taken Kakashi to get used to his teams… new appearances. The fact that they were able to do everything they used to do and more in their dresses helped him along, too. But now that the Chunin Exams were coming up, he wondered how the rest of Konoha's Shinobi would react.

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Naruko hummed cheerfully as she and Sakura walked through Konoha. It had taken the villagers a few days to realize it was her under everything, though her whisker marks had helped, and now they were back to ignoring her. She and Sakura were going back to her apartment, so as to hang out, as they did a lot. Sasuke had disappeared, as he wanted to be by himself today instead of hanging out with them per the usual.

It was to be expected, Naruko mused. Of course he wouldn't want to hang out with girls _all_ the time.

Then the Kyuubi Jinchuriki noticed something. A box made to look like a rock with two eye holes in it was starting to follow the pair. Naruko shared a smirk with Sakura, as they suddenly disappeared, only to reappear behind the 'rock', skirts swishing silently. The blonde plucked the 'rock' up to reveal the Konohamaru Squad. The children yelped, and stood.

"Nee-chan!" Konohamaru whined. "How'd you know it was us?"

"Rocks are square, Konohamaru, nor do they have eye holes." Naruko told him with a cheerful smile. "Do you three want to come back to my apartment with-"

They cut her off, hiding behind her legs and in her skirt, peering at Sakura curiously. Udon sniffled, as his nose was runny as usual.

"Nee-chan? Who's that?" Moegi asked.

"Oh, right!" They had seen her with Naruko a few weeks ago, when she'd first given her team mates a make over, but they probably hadn't noticed them. "This is Sakura, she's my team mate! I gave her and Sasuke a makeover!"

Konohamaru frowned into my leg. "She's ugly, Nee-chan, with a giant forehead."

"Sarutobi Konohamaru!" Naruko snapped. "You better apologize!"

But it was too late, the damage was done. Sakura had a frighteningly sweet smile on her face, hands clasped together as she bent her knees down to look the young Sarutobi in the eyes.

"I'm going to decapitate you for saying that, shrimp." Sakura chirped.

"Run, guys." They wasted no time in doing so, Naruko following after her pink haired teammate as she chased the children.

And that was when Konohamaru ran straight into two older teens. The boy he'd run into had on a black suit with a hood, and it almost looked like cat ears from the way it pointed, his Hitai-ate sown into the hood. He had a wrapped up bundle strapped to his back. The kunoichi wore a purple, off the shoulder dress with a slanted skirt hem, a fishnet under shirt, and fishnet on her right leg that went from mid thigh to midcalve. She had a giant battle fan strapped to her back, her blonde hair held back in four pigtails. They both scowled at Konohamaru.

"Pipsqueak." The boy growled, and held Konohamaru up by his collar so that the end of his scarf only just touch to ground.

"Konohamaru!" Naruko shouted, taking a few steps forward.

"That hurt." The boy growled at Konohamaru.

"Knock it off, your ganna get it as it is." The unnamed blonde kunoichi snapped at the boy.

"Well, he's not here is he?" The boy said. "I can have some fun."

"Let him go!" Naruko shouted.

It seemed that they finally noticed the two Konoha kunoichi in Lolita. The boy smirked, while the girl scoffed at their Hita-ate.

"You're the kunoichi Konoha has to offer? Pathetic." The blonde said snidely.

"Damn it, put him down already!" Naruko shouted, and Sakura was taken back, since she hardly ever cussed.

Naruko ran at them, but the guy, grabbed her ankle, and flipped her, holding her in the air. She yelped as he skirt fluttered down, revealing her white shorts. Suddenly, two rocks were thrown at high speed from the nearby tree, hitting the guy's hands. He dropped the two, and Naruko flipped lightly to land on her feet, dress down. She was blushing furiously in embarresment and anger.

Konohamaru ran back to his friends and Sakura, as they all looked to the tree. Sitting on a branch, facing them, was Sasuke, in all his Lolita glory. Naruko's male teammate was glaring coldly at the foreigners. He had his parasol open, blocking any sun that could get through the canopy of leaves.

Sasuke jumped down to stand in front of Naruko protectively, as he had taken to be overprotective since their mission in Wave. "Touch her again, and I wont hesitate to kill you."

"So cool…" Naruko heard Sakura whisper, and rolled her eyes.

"Are all kunoichi in the joint this disappointing." The blonde teen sneered in disgust, and Naruko didn't bother correcting her. "You think your all high and mighty, eh, girl?"

She took the battle fan off her back, and was opening it when a cold, emotionless voice called from the tree (the same one as before, Naruko noted in dry amusement).

"Temari, don't." Naruko turned to see a red headed boy standing upside down on a tree branch, a giant gourd on his back. His eyes were rimmed with thick black lines, and the kanji for 'love' was tattooed in red on his forehead.

"You're a disgrace to our entire village." The upside down boy said in that same monotone voice.

"G-Gaara!" The girl, Temari, yelped, slamming the fan shut.

"It annoys me that you would also pick fights with children, and girls while I'm at it, Kankuro." The boy continued, now looking at the black-clad boy, Kankuro. "Have you both forgotten why we're here?"

"B-but, Gaara, they started it! The little one slammed into me and the blonde tried to attack me!" Kankuro tried to plead. They were obviously scared of the boy, Naruko noticed, who could only be their age.

"Shut up…" Gaara stated. "Or I'll kill you."

He disappeared and reappeared between Temari and Kankuro. Now that Naruko noticed it, his features were very soft, almost…feminine… An idea went off in her mind.

Pushing past Sasuke, who raised an eyebrow, Naruko pattered up to Gaara, smiling. "Hi, I'm Uzumaki Naruko! Whats your name?"

Gaara didn't say anything, he only stared at her, as were his teammates, who looked worried. Naruko didn't let this deter her.

"Its Gaara, right?" She asked, but kept on when he didn't reply. "Well, I've decided! I'm going to be your friend! Do you want to have lunch with my team, Konohamaru, Moegi, Udon and I at my apartment? We were all going to go! You can bring your team, too!"

Gaara's eyes were no longer indifferent, but confused. Naruko smiled hopefully at him.

"A… Another time." He answered softly, turning to his team mates. "Temari, Kankuro, lets go."

Naruko waved as they left. Hopefully, she'd be getting a new friend, and a new doll!

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"Sakura! Sasuke!" Naruko waved at her teammates as she ran to meet with them at the doors of the Academy, where the first part of the Chunin Exam would be held. They were participating, per Kakashi-sensei's forms.

"Your late, Naruko." Sasuke murmured, and the blonde laughed sheepishly, rubbing the back of her neck.

"Sorry, but I woke up late and had to find the right lip gloss." Naruko then peered at Sasuke's face closely. "Ne, your wearing strawberry scented lip gloss! Where'd you get that?"

"He'll tell you later, Naruko, lets hurry." Sakura snapped, and the three dress clad twelve year olds quickly speed walked, skirts swishing side to side as they did.

When they found the room with the numbers 301 above it, there was already a group of hopeful Genin teams around it. A pair of Genin were blocking the door. They were standing over a boy who looked a year older than themselves, who had his black hair in a bowl cut, creepy eye lashes, super thick eyebrows, wore a green jumpsuit and orange leg warmers.

"Oh kami…" Naruko murmured, feeling sick. "That poor boy…"

Sakura nodded slightly. "Yeah, he looks hurt."

"That's not it!" Naruko snapped. "Just look at his appearance! He-he's hideous!"

Her team mates sighed.

What appeared to be the jump suite clad boy's team mate, a girl in a Chinese styled pink shirt, blue Shinobi pants, and her chocolate hair in two buns, walked forward in front of her fallen teammate.

"Please, we're begging you, just let us in." The girl pleaded.

But instead, the two glanced at each other before one of them slapped her hard enough for her to fall. Naruko held back a gasp. And then noticed something. Weren't they on the second floor? How could a third floor room be here, then? Genjutsu?

Taking her teammates' hands, she pulled them away from the crowd and to the stairs.

"What are you doing, Naruko?" Sakura snapped.

"We're on the second floor." Naruko told her.

Sasuke's eyes widened in realization. "And the room is supposed to be on the third floor!"

"Oh." Was all Sakura could say.

They found the real room, and opened the doors, sashaying inside.

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When Team 7 had walked in, Ino was prepared to fight for her Sasuke-kun from Forehead. But this wasn't what she had expected, and she might not have realized who they were had it not been for Naruko's whisker marks, as she was the only one in Konoha with those facial marks.

They were wearing Lolita clothing; Sasuke had a parasol open and shading him.

"What the-?!" Ino yelled, running up to them. "What are you wearing, Sasuke-kun?!"

Sasuke-kun blinked at her. "Clothes."

"Y-yes, but-but-" Ino was at a loss for words. "Your in a _dress_! A _Lolita_ dress! Why?"

By this time, her team had come up to stare at Sasuke-kun and his teammates in surprise.

Sasuke tilted his head. "Because I like it. And so do Naruko and Sakura."

Oh, no! He was addressing Forehead by her name! He'd never done that to anyone but Naruko, but they all knew that was because she annoyed him to high heaven. This was bad!

"You make a pretty girl, Uchiha." Shikamaru commented, and Ino rounded on him feeling betrayed.

"I didn't know Naruko would ever wear a dress." Chouji said, too shocked to actually eat his chips.

Naruko just laughed. "I love Lolita! I'm the one who showed them in the first place!"

Ino spun on her heel to face the blonde. "You idiot! What have you done to my precious Sasuke-kun?!"

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The only reason Kiba recognized Team 7 was because they all smelt the same. And that was saying something. But with the fact that they were all wearing dresses may have helped. And he heard Ino yelling about her 'Sasuke-kun' dressing in Lolita.

"N-Naruko?" He stuttered, blushing at the blonde who turned to face him (he felt himself blush at his crush). "U-uh…You look nice…" Oh kami, why did he say that?! "And your teammates! Yeah…"

Naruko smiled widely at him. "Thanks, Kiba!" And then she spotted Hinata, who was blushing and stuttering as usual. "Hina! Do you like our dresses?" She flung her arms around his shy teammate's neck, hugging her, rubbing their cheeks together friendlily.

Hinata nodded. "The-they're very nice."

He knew they'd known each other in the Academy, but Hinata usually stuttered more than that in a sentence, which spoke volumes of her comfort around the blonde girl.

"Great! You can be one of my new dolls! I have this one dress that'll look perfect on you!" Naruko started rambling, but backed off at Hinata's decline, pouting.

Kiba hadn't realized he was staring at her like a gapping idiot until a boy in a green jumpsuit was on his knees in front of Sakura, and a Hyuuga walked up to Naruko.

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Neji knew the moment Lee saw the pink haired girl of the Lolita wearing trio that his clueless teammate had a crush on her. But what he hadn't expected was to be crushing on the blonde girl of the trio. She was standing a little ways away from their loud group, talking to Hinata-sama and her teammate, Inuzuka Kiba. And from the way the Inuzuka was staring at her, he also had a crush on her.

Walking forward, and leaving Tenten to stare at him in surprised shock, Neji stopped in front of the blonde, ignoring Lee's loud love declaration. The blonde turned to him, and he met the most beautiful blue eyes he'd ever seen, and she smiled at him.

"Fate has brought you to meet me, fair angel." Neji said, taking her hand to kiss her knuckles. He saw Hinata and the Inuzuka gawking at him in the corner of his eyes.

The blonde blushed lightly, but didn't take her hand away, smiling at him. "Hello, I'm Uzumaki Naruko! Its nice to meet you, thank you for the compliment. What's your name?"

"Hyuuga Neji, Naruko-chan." He murmured.

Okay, that was it, he, Hyuuga Neji, was in love.

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**Hehehe… Neji likes Naruto! Anyways, Little Raccoon, here you go! Thank you for all who love Team Lolita and the sequel, Team Lolita takes the Chunin Exams! I might make a Part 2 of this, seeing as I only got to the beginning of Exam 1… I LOVE REVEIWS AND TAKE REQUESTS!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Here is Part 2 of the **_**Team Lolita takes the Chunin Exams**_**! I HOPE YOU ALL LIKE IT! This is not a Multi-chapter story, but a series of one-shots.**

**Title:** Team Lolita takes the Chunin Exam

**Summary:** Naruko expected a big reaction to her teammate's and her new look, but this was hilarious. Sequel to **Team Lolita**! Fem!Naru, AU, Sasu-crossdressing, dedicated to Little Raccoon!

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The room was quiet save for the scratching of pencils on papers as the room of Genin began taking their tests. Naruko was staring down at her paper, unmoving, thinking over the rules.

'_Two points off for every time your caught cheating? Iruka-sense would have a fit; he just fails cheaters to begin with._' She thought. With that thought in mind, Naruko's eyes widened. '_That's what they want us to do! Cheat to get the answers, since these are way to high to be for late Genin to early Chunin. There is probably a Chunin planted in here, maybe more than one. Time to practice your ever useful cheating skills._'

Naruko scoffed quietly, and set her pencil down. She could feel the eyes of a few of the proctors watching her now, as she reached into a pocket she made in her dress, pulling out a compact and her favorite vanilla lip gloss. Clicking the compact open, Naruko carefully started to coat her lips (they were dreadfully dry) intently. The proctors watching her sighed, she knew they did, and turned away. Moving the compact a centimeter, she saw the full reflection of a confident Genin's paper; he was a Chunin plant, she was sure of it. Memorizing his answers, she popped her lips and clicked the compact closed. Too easy.

Picking up her pencil, Naruko jotted down the answers. Turning the paper over, she looked around at the Genins. Gaara and his team sat in the back, already finished it looked like. Sakura was staring intently down at her paper, and Ino, behind her, appeared to be sleeping; Naruko knew better than that, as Sakura shook her head suddenly, put her paper down, and Ino sat up, beginning to jot down answers. Damn Yamanaka. Sasuke was turning off his Sharigan, his paper turned over.

"Pencils down!" Ibiki, the Examiner, said loudly, and every one looked towards him. "Time for the tenth question. But before we get to that, I'm adding a new rule." There was a general shifting, as everyone tensed. "This rule is absolute. First you must choose whether to accept or reject taking the tenth question."

"Ch-choose?!" Temari said loudly. "What happens if you don't take it?"

Ibiki stared her down for a moment. "If you reject the question, and not even try to answer it, you loose your points and fail. And your teammates fail with you."

This caused a general commotion. Naruko shifted in her seat slightly to glance at Sakura, who glanced back at her. They shared a look of determination, and Sakura glanced at Sasuke, who glanced at her, and they shared the same look. _We're taking the tenth question_.

"Because of the second rule…" Ibiki's voice rose to quiet down everyone. "If you take the question and fail, you are never again aloud to take the Chunin Exams."

In the end, many of the teams failed, but Team 7 stayed silent through everything. The rest of the 'Rookie Nine' passed, too, along with Gaara's team and Neji's team. Even the silver haired boy, Kabuto, passed with his team. So did the Sound Team that attacked him before.

A lady had come flying through the window, introducing herself as Mitarashi Anko, and that she was the Examiner for the next part of the Chunin Exams. She told them to meet her at Training Ground 44, and Naruko felt a jolt of realization. Training Ground 44, The Forest of Death, or more commonly known as Anko's Playground, was a gigantic forest with dangerous animals that could grow as big as a house. With this in mind, Naruko could deduce that it was most likely a Survival Test or something of the sort. The Anko woman told them to meet her at the training ground in an hour.

Not a lot of time, but enough to work with.

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"So, Ibiki, what was with the girly team in dresses?" Anko asked her fellow Examiner when the Genins were gone. "They wont be able to pass this test for sure, why are they here?"

"That 'girly team in dresses' is Team 7, under Hatake Kakashi; Uzumaki Naruko, the blonde, Haruno Sakura, the one in white and red, and Uchiha Sasuke, an apparent cross dresser." Ibiki informed her.

Anko howled in laughter. "Holy shit, the Uchiha's a cross dresser?!" At his nod, she threw back her head and laughed even louder. "I knew Uchiha's were girly, but this takes it to a whole new level! Wonder what his brother would say, eh?"

Ibiki rolled his eyes. "Die from shock."

Anko chuckled. "That would help with his revenge obsession, wouldn't it? Maybe that's why…hehe…" Then, Anko sprinted off to the girly teammates had respectively sat and grabbed their papers. "Lets see…Hmm…"

Ibiki snatched the papers from her, and looked at them himself. "Its to be expected that the Uchiha and Haruno would answer them all correctly; they were top students in their class. Now for the 'dobe'." His mouth dropped open at the blonde's test paper.

"What? What is it?" Anko snatched it back, and blinked.

The test was answered fully and correctly in clean Romanji. Around the edges of the test paper, the blonde haired Uzumaki had drawn a lace design, incorporating weapons into the design.

"I thought you said she was a dobe?" Anko demanded.

"She is." Ibiki murmured. "She didn't even _try_ to cheat; she only did one thing-" He froze, and then started chuckling.

"Well?" Anko said impatiently. "What did she do?"

"She took out a compact and lip gloss, redoing her lips." Ibiki sighed. "She's smarter than anyone gives her credit for."

Anko smirked. "A compact. No one expects a Lolita…"

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"So, explain to us _why_ we're packing sealing scrolls and hiding them in our dresses?" Sasuke asked his blonde team mate.

He remembered months ago, when he had still been obsessed with killing _Him_ and not getting close to anyone. How Naruko had gotten him and Sakura to go to her apartment for a team make over. Sasuke had been skeptical and horrified when he saw what she wanted to 'make over' him with. But when everything was done… He had felt… Nice.

No matter how many times he tried to argue with himself that cross dressing was not something that would help him on his path to revenge, he found himself enjoying it more and more, getting closer and closer to his team mates till he felt like a protective older brother. He'd bought himself Lolita clothing as well, and had really gotten into it. Sasuke actually planned to grow his hair out like Sakura's or Naruko's, too.

And now, in the hour before the second part of the test was to begin, they were packing food, clothing, rations, weapons, medical supplies and anything else into six storage scrolls of each person. They were to be hidden in the petticoats of their dresses. Naruko had even gone as far as to give them extra copies of their outfits, so that if anything happened to them that was unrepairable, they could just change.

"Because the next test is some kind of survival test." Naruko told him as they left her apartment.

"And how do you know this?" Sakura asked curiously. Naruko was figuring out a lot of stuff lately.

"Training Ground 44, known as the Forest of Death due to the oversized and deadly occupents of it. Also called Anko's Playground." She said in an informative tone. "I've drawn maps of _every_ place in Konoha, including the Forest of Death, so we shouldn't get lost."

Sasuke stared at his fellow Lolita. "How… How do you always know this stuff?"

Naruko only gave him a mysterious smile.

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**THIS IS NOT A MULTICHAPTER STORY! THIS IS A SERIES OF ONE-SHOTS ALL TOGETHER! Its just too much of a hassle to make a New Story for every one that is connected. So there.**

**REVIEW!~**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I love the response I keep getting! It's like I've been given a year's supply of chocolate! Yumm~…**

**Title:** Team Lolita takes the Chunin Exam

**Summary:** Naruko expected a big reaction to her teammate's and her new look, but this was hilarious. Sequel to **Team Lolita**! Fem!Naru, AU, Sasu-crossdressing, dedicated to Little Raccoon!

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Gaara did not know what to make of Uzumaki Naruko and her teammates, Haruno Sakura and Uchiha Sasuke. By all accounts, from what he'd seen happen with Kankuro, she should have been a weakling Kunoichi…But Mother was afraid of her. So he had watched her with his sand eye.

She had been the first one out of her team to realize they were being tricked by a Genjutsu before the First Exam. She had friends in many prominent Clans of Konoha. She was able to get information, not get noticed, _and_ redo her lip gloss while she was at it, easily. Able to have a conversation with her teammates by only a simple glance. Hell, she hadn't even flinched at the amount of KI the Ibiki man had given off.

Then, when she heard which training ground they were going to use for the second Exam, she had known instantly what to be prepared for. She knew the terrain, what was there, and how to maneuver through it quickly and easily. She had apparently mapped out every single place in Konoha, too.

And the most surprising fact of all; she wasn't afraid of him. She wanted to be his friend, despite the fact that they were from different villages.

He'd noticed the way the villagers glared at her, called her a demon and such. It was a more physically aggressive treatment of what he received back in Suna. In Suna, they were all too afraid of hurting him, through words or not. But Naruko was able to deal with it all with a smile on her face, as if nothing was wrong in her little world at all.

And that was when it was decided for him. During the chaos of the Invasion that would be taking place, he was going to take Naruko back with him to Suna. She was his, he decided; his and his only. And Gaara was a very possessive person.

When the hour was up, all the passing Genin of the First Exam were standing outside the main entrance of the Forest of Death, Gaara and his siblings standing a little ways off from the Rookie Nine group. Gaara watched Naruko and her teammates closely. They showed no fact that they were confident in anything, not even a twitch of a facial expression.

"This is the entrance for the grounds of the second exam; Training Ground 44." The Anko woman said. "Also known as the Forest of Death."

The Genin were silent, shifting uneasily. Gaara wondered what the real purpose of this part of the exam.

"You're about to find out first hand…" Anko continued. "Why they call this the 'Forest of Death'." No one said anything, and Gaara noticed the Anko woman glanced at Naruko disappointingly; his eyes narrowed the slightest. "Before we begin the Second Exam, there's something I have to hand out." She reached into her trench coat and pulled out a large pile of Consent Forms. "They're consent forms. Everybody has to sign one."

Finally, a Rookie spoke up; the Inuzuka who'd obviously had a crush on Naruko (the memory had Gaara's eyes narrowing more). "Why?"

"We want all the details covered before the first deaths occur. Sign before you go in, so we can't be held liable." Anko told him with a grin, much to everyone's discomfort. "You wouldn't want me to get you in trouble would you?" One could practically hear the amusement dripping from her words. "First I'll explain what the second exam entails. Then you can sign the forms. With the other two members of your team, bring the forms to the hut behind you to submit them."

Gaara didn't even glance at the hut where two Shinobi sat inside.

"Got that? Now, about the exam. To put it simply…" Anko paused. "It's a no-holds-barred survival test." Gaara noticed Naruko's lips twitched into a smirk before cooling. She'd been right. "Lets start with the topography of this training ground. I'll explain the rest later." She unrolled the scroll in her hand, revealing a map of it.

Gaara realized with a start, that this map wasn't as detailed as the one Naruko had shown her teammates. That meant that Naruko had spent various amounts of time in the forest, becoming so familiar with it that she had been able to make such a detailed map.

"Training Ground 44 is bordered by a circular perimeter, interrupted at regular intervals by forty-four locked gates. There are forests and a river…and in the center is a tower, about ten kilometers from those gates." Anko seemed to be enjoying the fear she was causing. "Within the confines of the carefully delineated area, you're going to undergo a survival test. During the course of that test, you may use any weapons or ninja arts you have at your disposal. It's a kind of fight-to-the-death version of 'capture the flag'…or in this, 'capture the scroll'."

"Scroll?" A Genin from Cloud questioned.

"Exactly. There's a 'Scroll of Heaven' and a 'Scroll of Earth'." She held out two scrolls; the one with white edges had the kanji for 'heaven' on it, and the one with black edges had the kanji for 'earth' on it. "And your objective is to acquire both scrolls. There are seventy-eight of you here. Thirteen teams will start out with a Heaven scroll, and the other thirteen will start out with an Earth scroll. But you'll need both scrolls to pass. So, your objective is to hold onto your scroll get your hands on one of the other kind and then bring them both to the tower at the center."

"So you weren't kidding." Haruno spoke up, smiling. "You really will be cutting us in half like you told Ibiki-san. Theres no way you couldn't we these rules."

Anko gave her a vicious grin. "You bet. And theres a time limit! You have 120 hours in which to complete this exam; exactly five days."

"FIVE DAYS?!" The Yamanaka that had blamed Naruko for the Uchiha's state of dress yelled.

At the same time, her plump teammate yelled. "What are we supposed to do for food?!"

Naruko's eyes held smugness. Gaara knew she and her team had brought enough for several days each at minimum. They would be fine.

"That's your problem. The forests are full of nature's bounty. Of course, they're also full of man-eating eating animals, deadly insects, and poisonous plants. Theres no way as many as thirteen teams will pass this. As the time shortens, the trials will become harder and faster with less recovery time for any mistakes, accidents or injuries. You'll be surrounded by enemies at all times, so you'll have to sleep with one eye open." Anko tilted her head at them, still grinning. "So, in addition to those who die in attempts to defend or gain a scroll, some of you are bound to succumb to exhaustion, exposure, starvation or dehydration. Now lets talk about the rules and what offenses you can be disqualified under for. Obviously." She held up a single finger. "The teams that fail to reach the tower in time as a three person team, carrying both a heaven and an earth scroll are out." She held up a second finger. "So is any team that loses a member to death or severely injured." She put her hands down. "And under no circumstances can you leave the forest before the time is up. No recess, no time outs."

There was a distinct pause as she let this settle in before continuing.

"Also, your forbidden to look at the contents of the scrolls until your inside the tower!" She said forcefully.

Gaara watched Naruko talk for the first time. "And what happens if we do?"

"That's for those who look to know." Anko told her, smirking. "If any of you make it to Chunin level, there will be times when you will be entrusted with top-secret documents, so consider this a test of your trustworthiness. That's all the explanation you get. We'll trade one scroll for every three forms. When you've got yours, choose the gate you want to start from. Everyone will be beginning at the same time. One final piece of advice." Anko said, looking closely at them all. "Stay alive."

The Shinobi in the shack curtained it and the teams were left to sign their forms. Gaara and his team did so quickly, they got an earth scroll. As they walked off to a gate, Gaara created a sand eye to spy of Naruko. Temari shot him a knowing glance, which was ignored.

"_Here's our forms, Shinobi-san_." The Uchiha's voice said as Naruko handed him their forms with a pleasant smile. They were handed back a Heaven scroll.

"_Thank you_!" Naruko chirped and drug her team off to another gate.

Before the sand eye dissipated, Gaara watched as her hips swayed while she walked. Shaking his head, he let his hand drop from his eyes, unaware of the light blush staining his cheeks. But Temari and Kankuro had noticed, and were sharing shocked and surprised looks.

It seemed Gaara did have human feelings.

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**OHMIGOD! A WHOLE GAARA POV! Yay! Romance… I cant believe I just did that… Love square… I've never done romance before, so I would really love it if you all reviewed and gave me suggestions! I love KibaNaru, NejiNaru and GaaNaru… But I love SasuNrau more, but its been done too many times for mine to really be original, so I wont use that couple… I LOVE REVIEWS AND TAKE SUGGESTIONS!**


	4. Poll Annoucement

**This isnt an update, sorry. **

**I HAVE A POLL ON MY PROFILE. IF YOU WANT UPDATES, CHECK IT OUT. That's literally what its there for; the poll question is 'Which story should I update first?'. **

**Go and vote! Its open!**

**If there is any trouble with the poll display or voting, please PM me about it and I'll try and fix it.**


	5. Chapter 4

**And so, after so long, the Poll is closed! Team Lolita takes the Chunin Exams won with a whopping 139 voters! Whoo! I feel the love!**

**After so long of not posting a chapter, I almost feel… like I don't want to finish. But you all love my story for some crazy reason, so I shall finish! I'm going to try and get a lot of chapters done tonight, and maybe even finish TLttCE, and go onto the next! I've even got a title for it; Amazing Escapades of Team Lolita. Cheer me on, so that I won abandon the story!**

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It was after only a half hour into the second part of the Chunin Exams that the first scream sounded through out the Forest of Death.

Naruko looked up and blinked, "I wonder if that was any of our friends..."

"Less competition." Sasuke said simply, parasol out and open, shielding himself from the sunlight that might slip through the leaves.

Naruko wavered for a second, feeling a little worried for her friends, but then reassured herself that they would be fine. "Yeah, you're right. Anyways, lets set up a game plan."

They settled down around a giant root of a tree that stuck up from the ground, as Naruko pulled out the map and their Heaven scroll. Surprisingly, it was Sakura who was the strategist of the team, with enough book smarts to make up a plan, but Naruko and Sasuke's combat fitted mind scape helped to preen the plans for anything else.

"Here, we'll make copies of this." Sakura said, pulling a storage scroll from her red petticoats, and unsealing two more blank scrolls, a brush and ink. "Naruko, you've got the finest detail, you do it."

Naruko saluted. "On it."

Taking the brush and ink, setting the Heaven scroll up, she began to copy the whole thing onto the other two scrolls.

Sakura studied the map for a few moments, chewing on her glossed lip, before tracing a finger along an imaginary path, lips moving silently to herself. A grin formed on Sasuke's mouth, knowing that she was going into full strategy mode.

"We'll go this way, near the river but not on it." Sakura told Sasuke, since Naruko was effectively distracted, "Setting up some traps around it might do us some good, as well, since the lake would be the most obvious place for Shinobi to find food. Since the more knowledgable teams are the stronger ones, the ones we wont win against, we'll go for the weaker ones; the ones stupid enough to go to the river, or desperate enough."

Sasuke nodded thoughtfully, leaning over to see as well; Sakura wanted to squeal at their closeness, but a much bigger part of her was more concerned for the Exam. "That's a good idea, but what about if – no, when we get attacked? Naruko and I should carry some explosive tags on us, since we don't have instant explosives like you do."

Sakura nodded happily. "Great idea! Naruko, are you done?"

"Done!" Naruko announced triumphantly, holding up three identical scrolls; her team couldn't tell which one was the real one. To add to their confusion, she shuffled them up too fast for them to see.

"Which one is the real scroll?" Sasuke asked.

Naruko snorted. "I don't know. I didn't pay attention."

Sakura face palmed. "Naruko…"

"It's fine, though! This way, we'll all protect them with as much intensity as if they were the real one, in case they are, which makes the enemy think it is, and if it's not, they're going after a decoy!" Naruko said hurriedly, seeing that the pink haired girl's temper was about to implode.

Sasuke nodded, also sensing the danger, and grabbed one. "Good job, Naruko. Here's the plan…"

Grumbling, Sakura took her own. Just as they had stashed all their things away again, an insanely strong gust of wind exploded around them, whipping up dirt – and their skirts – which effectively clouded their vision as they flew through the air.

When Naruko could see again, she was up against a tree, some hundreds of feet, maybe, away from her team, on her head, feet in her face and skirt up, revealing her white shorts underneath. Her socks had come down as well, and she was covered with nicks, which tore into her clothes as well as skin. To say she was pissed off would be an understatement.

Growling, Naruko flipped herself over, and climbed to her feet – only to stare in shock.

"That…" She whispered. "Is one big mother fuc-" Before she could effectively curse, though, the large tail wrapped around her and she was swallowed by the animal.

It was a snake, about as tall as a regular tree – which was big.

Sliding through the insides, Naruko's fury boiled. She was dirty, bruised, bloody, her clothes were now covered in slime, her hair was undone, the ribbon gone to who knows where, and her lip gloss was smeared. Officially done with this all, she struggled to lift her hands to form a seal.

"MASS SHADOW CLONE JUTSU!"

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Orochimaru wasn't very sure what to think about Sasuke Uchiha.

On one hand, he was very skilled in the way of the Shinobi, and his two female companions were good adversaries, but he was there for the Uchiha. He was the perfect vessel, if he could just get close enough to inflict the Cursed Seal of Heaven onto the boy.

On the other hand, he and his Team were just so delectable in ways that made him positively _tingle_. It was all he could do to hold himself back from just grabbing the three and running…back to Sound…where he could… He giggled quite perversely here in his mind, just as a kunai sunk into the wood next to his head.

"Sorry I'm late, guys!" A feminine voice called from above, and they all looked up to see the blonde of Team 7; drool pooled in Orochimaru's mouth.

The girl's dress was cut up so much that it revealed much of her skin to him, most likely because he'd been more intent on getting the other combatant away than the brainiac; she was missing her socks, her hair was down, plastered to her skin like wet cement, and she was covered in questionable liquid at the moment.

"Sweet, Naruko, that was awesome!" The pink haired one cheered. The blonde, Naruko, gave a thumbs up.

"Thanks, Sakura!" Sweet, sweet names, for such sweet looking girls.

"Naruko, we have to get out of here, this guy's way out of our league!" Sasuke called up at her.

"Heh heh… My compliments on your…stunning defeat of the giant snake, Naruko…" Orochimaru smirked perversely up at the girl; maybe he could spare another seal, if it meant having her willing to please him…

Naruko leapt down at him, though, despite Sasuke's words, arms open, legs up…skirt fluttering up…and sat on his face. Orochimaru's eyes widened as he got a face full of little girl and strawberry covered panties.

With a loud thud, Orochimaru fainted from a giant nosebleed for the first time in his life.

Naruko climbed off him, frowning at the feeling of blood covering her panties. "I only meant to tackle him, why did he have a nosebleed?"

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**Am I the only one who found this surprisingly…dirty? Maybe my mentality has changed. I was half way through this chapter when I realized that it's categorized as a Humor/Parody, and that my tone was serious. **

**So, to make up for the seriousness… I added in Pedo!Orochimaru and Always-Oblivious!Naruko~!**

**I hope you like! REVIEWS ARE LOVE!**

**By the way, I'm taking requests for oneshots if you want them. Just saying. PM me if you want one, and what it'll be about!**


	6. Chapter 5

**So, yes…In the first two reviews, I caused someone to suffocate and scarred another for life. I ended someone's day in happiness, and got a review in Spanish that I barely understood, but got the jist of. Pedo!Orochimaru caused a lot of 'ewwws' and 'hahaha's, which always makes my day better! Thank you to all my wonderful and loyal readers! It's great to read your reviews right after I wake up!**

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Last Chapter Recap of Importance: Team Lolita makes a plan; Team Lolita is separated; Naruko is eaten by a snake, and her things are ruined, making her angry; Sakura and Sasuke are confronted by Orochimaru; Naruko saves the day with her panties, effectively knocking the Pedo out!

Conclusion: Sasuke didn't give up his scroll; Sasuke didn't get the cursed seal. BOOM, I have blown your mind.

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After raiding the snake-man-woman-thing of all his/her/it's possessions, they found an Earth scroll, and one giant scroll, about ten inches taller than Naruko not in heels. Sakura immediately pounced on it, while Sasuke fretted over Naruko.

"Damn, your clothes…no extras…" He was muttering to himself, and reaching into his own petticoat for a storage scroll. "Here, you'll wear this over it until we can get some new clothes for you."

He unsealed an article of clothing; Naruko wondered where he'd gotten it, because she didn't give it to him. It was a cape like cloak, no sleeves, and could be clipped together with the Uchiha symbol button at the top. It wrapped around her fully, leaving her neck out, but stopped at her ankles. Naruko snuggled into, as it was quite warm.

"Thanks, Sasuke-chan." Naruko told him with a smile.

Suddenly, there was a rumble through the ground and a giant plume of smoke appeared, about the same height as the tallest trees in the Forest of Death. Naruko and Sasuke turned to see Sakura with the scroll open in front of her. She had signed it in blood, right under someone called 'Orochimaru'.

The plume of smoke disappeared and revealed a snake who could, in Naruko's mind, tower over Hokage Monument. It was purple with black rings around it's body and green eyes.

"Orochimaru…" It hissed, looking around. "Why have you summoned me?"

Naruko realized then what Sakura had done; she'd signed a Summoning Contract with the Snakes.

"Actually, I summoned you!" Sakura called up loudly, making the animal swoop it's head down to stare at her; it was a little intimidating – okay, a lot – but Sakura didn't show. "Am I right in assuming you're the boss of the Snake Summons?"

It seemed to preen himself. "Yes, I am Manda, the King of Snakes." Then, he caught sight of Orochimaru's body, stripped of it's possessions, covered in his own blood, and hissed in happiness. "Who did this?"

"We did." Naruko said, coming up from behind Sasuke, who quickly followed after, mentally berating her for drawing attention to herself.

"And you signed the contract?" Manda addressed Sakura, glancing at the large Summoning Contract scroll.

"Yes, Manda-sama." Sakura said, hoping that sucking up would make the snake less likely to eat them.

He glanced at her. "Manda-sama… I like it. You defeated the one that I cannot, so I do not doubt that I couldn't beat you three, despite your…appearances. I accept you as my Summoner…"

"Sakura Haruno." Sakura supplied, and then yelped as she was taken in his mouth.

Naruko and Sasuke stiffened, but relaxed as she popped out, looking unharmed but covered in spit, and a new tattoo on her left wrist; it was a snake, coiled to strike, it black ink. A summoning tattoo.

"We'll be seeing more of each other, Haruno." Manda said, before disappearing.

They stood there in silence for a moment, before gathering up the Earth scroll, and starting towards the tower at the center of the Forest.

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After arriving at the tower, and effectively summoning Iruka-sensei, Team Lolita retired to their rooms, since they still had four days before the second Exam was over. Iruka-sensei had agreed to go to Naruko's apartment and grab her a few changes of clothes. He'd been shocked to see them carrying the Snake Summoning Scroll and even more so that Sakura had signed a contract with them.

He'd been very concerned, until they'd told him about how Naruko had defeated the snake man. Iruka-sensei had sighed, ran a hand over his face, and told Naruko to avoid any people who acted like this 'Orochimaru' guy. That was the snake thing's name apparently.

So, this was the time that Naruko was sitting around, walking around the tower aimlessly.

And she ran into the Suna team; Kankuro was eating with Temari, but a few feet away, Gaara sat at the cafeteria table, silent and stoic. Naruko squealed inwardly at the chance. Prancing up to him, her new – clean and nonruined ones Iruka got – clothes swishing and bouncing with them. Gaara looked up as she neared.

"Hi Gaara!" She chirped, sitting across from him. "You guys passed, too! When'd you get here?"

"This morning." Gaara said simply, staring at her silently; Naruko wasn't deterred.

She pouted, "Damn, we thought we'd been first. Aww well." Gaara's teammates were staring at her as if they were already planning her funeral. "Anyways, Gaara, can I ask you a favor?"

"No." He said simply after a moment of silence, and Naruko sighed.

"Fine… I'll ask you some other time. It was nice talking to you!" Naruko said happily, though she was mentally sulking at not getting to dress up Gaara. She already had the color scheme picked out in her head!

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Naruko sat with Sasuke and Kakashi in the viewing area above the arena, during the Preliminaries. The whole of Rookie Nine had passed, as well as the Oto Team, another Konoha team she didn't recognize that had the creepy silver haired guy on it, and, obviously, the Suna team. The silver haired guy, Kabuto, had known way too much in the first Exam, and Naruko was glad he was gone, if only to settle her nerves a little. She'd seen Sasuke win his fight against that Akado Yoroi guy in the first fight, missed Shino's win against an Oto guy called Zaku, and had just finished seeing Kankuro beat the other Konoha guy, Tsuguri Misumi.

Now, the panel read Haruno Sakura verses Yamanaka Ino.

Ino and Sakura were standing a few feet away from each other in the ring. Naruko's teammate was a sight to behold in her pristine red and white clothing, all dolled up; Sasuke had gotten dirty during his fight, and Naruko had forcibly taken him to the nearest bathroom to fix him, which was why she missed Shino's fight, so he was also pristine. A lot of the Shinobi in the room, no matter where they were from, were frowning at Team 7's state of dress, while Kakashi just sat there.

"So, Sakura… It's you and me, going head to head… I never saw it coming." Ino said dramaticly, and Naruko knew that Sakura was going to get annoyed by that.

She'd had a major attitude check after the Wave mission, but her Sasuke crush had only downed a little. Sakura was more serious now, and would want to get the fight done and over with; if only to save her from Naruko's wrath if she dirtied her clothes like Sasuke did.

But she would most likely humor her for old time's sake as well.

"Ino, shut up." Sakura said, swinging her hip one way and placing a hand on it, the skirt swishing side to side as she did.

Ino reared back. "Huh?"

"I'm not the little girl I used to be." Sakura told her point blank. "And if you don't realize that, then you're not even worthy to kiss the ground I walk on."

Ino raised an eyebrow. "Who can take you, or your team, seriously if you're wearing _that_. You look like a porcelain doll, Sakura. Admit it, you're still the crybaby you've always been."

Sakura clicked her tongue. "What's the number one Shinobi rule, Ino?"

Ino's brow furrowed, but her sensei, Asuma Sarutobi, and Team 8's sensei, Kurenai Yuhi, sucked in a breath. "What's that got to do with this?"

"Everything, Ino. Everything." Sakura said, and for the first time in the Exam, pulled two white strawberries off her bracelet and threw them at the ground in front of Ino, and then pulled a pink one off and did the same.

They exploded, two bright flashes of light shocking Ino's senses and disorienting her, smoke filling the arena heavily, so that none could even see the faintest hint of a body. The onlookers tensed, Naruko's heart pounding; would Sakura win?

When the smoke cleared, Ino was on the ground, unconscious, and Sakura was sitting on her back daintily. She was putting some new strawberries on her bracelet. There wasn't a single smudge of dirt on her. It had mouths gapping around them, by everyone by Team 7, Iruka-sensei, and the Hokage. They'd thought that Sasuke was the only competent one on the team, since he was an Uchiha, and that the others were just useless, even more so because of their looks.

Most looked at Naruko warily, but she just smiled brightly as Sakura was declared the winner and gave her a hug.

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Neji watched expectantly, as the panel flashed again, a few more battles after the Haruno girl's. This time, it showed 'Uzumaki Naruko verses Inuzuka Kiba'. A sick smirk grew on his face; his rival for Naruko's affections would get a beat down from the girl of their choice herself. Victory would taste sweet.

Looking at the said participants, he saw that the Inuzuka had paled rapidly, as his teammates and sensei gave him sympathizing looks. Naruko laughed happily, and pranced over to him, grabbing his hand and dragging him into the arena with her. Neji frowned.

"This is awesome, isn't it, Kiba? We get to fight each other!" Naruko cheered, as the Chunin coughed and announced the battle begin.

Inuzuka swallowed, and nodded distantly. "Y-yeah, Naruko-chan…"

Naruko's eyes lit up, and her smile twitched with an emotion Neji couldn't decipher at the moment. "Ne, ne, since your my first opponent, I'll give you a gift, too!"

"Gift…?" Inuzuka asked, blinking at her confusedly, as she leaned close.

Neji's head reared back angrily as he saw. Naruko had pressed her lips to Inuzuka's, giving him an innocent kiss! Inuzuka's eyes widened, as the dog in his jacket barked happily. As Naruko pulled back, he staggered, his knees shaking.

"Naruko-chan…kissed me…" A goofy smile spread across his face, eyes half closed, before he fell back in a dead faint. Naruko giggled, and looked at the Chunin.

Hayate coughed awkwardly, "T-the winner is Uzumaki Naruko."

Inuzuka's teammates hauled him back into the observing deck, while Naruko pranced back to her team. Neji fumed; he could see why Naruko had done such a thing, exploiting the Inuzuka's crush on her, but he was still angry.

Why did the Inuzuka get a kiss and he didn't?

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Gaara wasn't so sure what to think. Fury had ignited in him when the dog boy got a kiss from Naruko, but he didn't know why. His fists were clenched tightly, knuckled white around the bar holding him back from going and beating the dog boy to smitherings.

Temari and Kankuro looked at him knowingly for some reason as well, making him more irritated.

He was glad, as well, when later Naruko vowed to beat the Hyuuga boy who had beaten his cousin to near death. Gaara wasn't sure _why_ though.

Maybe he could let off some steam against the green dressed menace…


	7. Chapter 6

It was only a week into the month long in between stage before the Final Exam, and Naruko was bored. Kakashi-sensei had up and kidnapped Sasuke, since he was facing the really adorable made-to-be-in-Lolita sociopath Gaara, and Sakura was getting help from Kurenai-sensei, Team 8's sensei. She herself was stuck with the bastard Ebisu, who she disliked with a great passion. The stuck up moron was always trying to get her to change into 'Shinobi appropriate clothing'.

She would be facing Neji-teme (how the _hell_ could she have believed him to be nice before the First Exam?) and therefore needed to be very badass very quickly. She didn't think she could kiss her way out of this, but if she had to, Naruko would try it. What she needed, according to her Kage Bunshin research about the Hyuuga, was speed and agility – lots of it. Maybe she could get her hands on some training weights like that Lee boy had had.

But who would get them for her?

This led her back to the dilemma; no way to get things at the moment, and too bored to really do anything. Naruko was stuck in a rut, not really knowing how to pass the time. Normally, she would dress Konohamaru, Moegi and Udon up, or even Sasuke and Sakura- Hey! That was it!

She would find Gaara and convince him to let her give him a makeover!

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Gaara didn't realize he was blushing as he saw Naruko approaching the area he and the Suna team had taken residence for during the Chunin Exams. Her hips were swaying confidently, and there was a bright smile on her face, a wicked glint in her eyes. It made him shiver with unknown feelings, and Mother chuckled in the back of his head darkly, and somewhat amusedly.

"Gaara!" She called, waving an arm around, her other hand cupped over her mouth to make her voice carry over the street. "Can I talk to you?"

He slowly walked over to her, and got a feeling that the day was going to end oddly.

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**YEAH, I KNOW, ITS DRABBLE-LIKE SHORT. I couldn't figure out what else to write.**

**You see, I'm in a rut, kinda like Naruko. To get out of this rut of not being able to write about this story, which you all love to read, I have come up with a solution.**

**I start another story.**

**Now, now, before you get your hissy fit pants on, let me explain; **

**When I begin a new story, it jumpstarts my thoughts on how to convert things into story ideas. These ideas take up residence in my head, and throughout the new story, do not leave me alone until I give in and stop writing that story in favor of the ones in my head. I never really get to writing those stories in my head, though. My creative-ness is still going, though, as well; therefore, I can use that to get this story back on track!**

**It will take time, and many frustrated nights of staring at my laptop, but I CAN DO IT! I will try. **

**I want you're opinions on the story idea, though, to see how popular it might be. Here's my prototype summary;**

It started out as a simple D-Rank mission request, and turned into a lifestyle. I am a Civilian, but I have the 'heart and mind of a ninja' in Gai-sensei's words – just with a whole lot less 'youthful' and 'springtime' taken out of the words. AU. OC.

**Here's a brief snippet of something that may or may not happen in the story;**

"You would never be a Ninja, you would fail, as Fate decrees it." The white eyed boy – what was his name again? Nigi? – told me solemnly.

I nodded in agreement. "That's true. Why do you think I'm not a ninja?"

The brunet – Tenten, I think; why was her name a number repeated? – blinked at me confusedly. "You said that you're family didn't approve of-"

"Not of importance," I snapped at her, "The point is, I know that I would never make it as a ninja. I am far too lazy and out of shape to be anything but deadweight for even chores like these that you Genin do." Nigi – right? I'll ask that Gai man, or his younger clone later – nodded, though I wasn't finished. "But that doesn't mean I can't help you at the moment. You're on my family's property, are being paid by my family's money, and therefore, since I am the only figure of authority available at this time, you must listen to me. The client."

Nigi looked like he'd swallowed a lemon that had gone bad and been wrapped in shit for days. "I…believe you are correct."

"Then what do you suggest?" Tenten asked curiously, as we ignored the cries of 'Spring time of Youth', 'Gai-sensei!' and 'Lee!' that were coming from the green things.

I shrugged. "Hell if I know."

They stared at me for a moment. The looks on their faces were priceless.

"Joking, joking." I told them with a snicker, and sobered at Nigi's 'Tell me or I will flay you' stare; a shiver of fear went down my spine; they may be beginning ninjas, but they were ninjas, and could kill me before I could think. "If you don't like how the chore is, make it into something fun."

Nigi frowned. "We don't _do_ fun. We're Shinobi."

"Well, I guess you'll have to think of something, then, won't you?" I waved my hand dismissively, holding in a yawn. "I'll be over there if you need me."

I turned and walked away, pretending I didn't hear Nigi's grumbling; "Hmph, like we'd need help from a _civilian _anyways. Stupid, ignorant girl."

**So, yeah. That's a little snippet I will most likely put in there. **

**So yeah, lets VOTE! Do you like the idea, or do you not? I need feedback if I am to make a decision and not feel like I'm screwing you all over! **

**VOTE IN THE REVIEWS!**


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